If you have any questions feel free to ask us. Christmas and holiday day access is one of the biggest problems divorced dads face. The saddest thing are the number of calls we get at our offices from divorced dads for help to see their kids at Christmas.


It saddens me because I was one of those kids who did not see my dad during Christmas. My heart actually goes out to the kids. When you do not see your dad, you think you did something wrong as a kid. We all know that that is not the case. At Christmas time it even feels worse for the many kids who feel this way. My heart also goes out to these kids and their dads.


But here’s the problem the divorced dads face, they feel they are beaten before they even try. So many don’t bother trying. They are overcome with anguish and grief from missing their kids. For example, At least fully two-thirds of the fathers, grandmothers and grandparents that call us, not many of them have not really taken any action up to this point. That’s because they feel that it is totally hopeless and useless to do anything, because they have prejudged the outcome


Of course it is a difficult time. Here is the problem when you want to take action. What happens is the court system becomes a bottleneck and becomes even slower than it normally is, which is already slow, it is at a snail pace. It just makes the stress even worse that you are trying to rush things through and it is just not happening.


That’s why a lot of the people who called in to us are exasperated, frustrated because they don’t have a strategy or answers.


Many are very sad and angry with good reason: After they’ve spent tons and tons of money going through the legal system, they have still have not gotten to the solution that they are looking for, they are exasperated and do not really know what else to do. And now it’s Christmas.


Because these divorced dads are having a difficult time emotionally: They are not getting any kind of support from the system; they are not getting any kind of help from their lawyer that is effective, and as a result they are almost like lost souls. They just do not know what to do.


Most often, they have no strategy and that is huge part of the problem. With any problem in life, if you can sit down and try to actually map out a plan, that is always the best way of proceeding. It is not always easy to do because we are talking about our families here. It is hard to remove emotion, but helps to have a clear head and look at it strictly from a strategic point of view.


Another part of the problem is that most of the people who had called in have been provoked beyond reason, And that they are having a very, very difficult time too, especially when they are suffering all of the above symptoms of discrimination in Family Court.


So what’s the solution?


Coaching and solution focused mentoring that points a divorced dads in the right direction: Finding a father who has been successful in solving this particular problem is crucial, because then he can show what has already worked in his situation.


The important point is this exasperation won’t solve your problems, nor will frustration, nor anger. The # 1 thing successful divorced dads have in common is an open mind and a creative spirit. When there is seemingly no way possible, you must make a way


Like their children when they want something badly they never take NO for an answer. Neither should a divorced dad, no matter the obstacles or challenges. That’s the best present a divorced dad can give their child their can-do spirit the one that overcomes all odds.


That’s a gift a child can take with them all the days of their life.

Typically, when you’re sad, you may cry a lot and you may not feel like doing much for a little while. This is quite normal behavior for someone who has just gotten a divorce. However, depression can go much deeper and affect you differently. Depression can cause insomnia or the unbearable exhaustion. You may not want to get out of bed at all, even if you’re not tired. It can feel as if you’re hiding from the world. You may not have an appetite at all and most sufferers experience an excruciating sense of loss.

Take a deeper look at your symptoms to determine whether you are suffering from sadness or real depression. Many people who are depressed entertain thoughts of suicide and if you have experienced this at all, it’s time to get help. When you are depressed, you are unable to think clearly. Similar to being under the influence of a drug, you may make decisions or do things that you would normally never do. Finding help is of the utmost importance.

It’s perfectly normal to feel sad after a divorce. In fact, it’s part of the natural healing process after going through a stressful, traumatic event. However, depression is not normal and may require treatment with medication, therapy or something else. If, after a few weeks or months, you don’t start to feel better and more optimistic about your life and the future, you may be suffering from depression. Here are some helpful tips:

Visit friends. Simply talking to someone may be enough to pull you out of your sadness.

Take a class. Whether you learn about art, crafts or something else, you will gain new confidence and focusing on something other than the divorce is very helpful.

Start a new diet and exercise program. Becoming healthier after your divorce will help you with self esteem issues and confidence. Focusing on yourself is very important.

When you focus on yourself and take time to pamper yourself and learn new things, you can prevent your sadness from turning into depression. If you think that you are depressed at all, get help immediately so you can take back control of your life and feel better. ]]> http://freedivorceconsultation.2send.me/depressed-or-just-sad-tips-for-the-recently-divorced/feed/ 0 http://freedivorceconsultation.2send.me/flirting-tips-for-divorced-men/ http://freedivorceconsultation.2send.me/flirting-tips-for-divorced-men/#comments Fri, 06 Nov 2009 15:43:41 +0000 Divorce Lawyer http://freedivorceconsultation.2send.me/flirting-tips-for-divorced-men/

When you’ve been married for a while and then have gotten a divorce, it can be easy to feel a little ‘rusty’ when it comes to the dating thing. When you want to meet someone that you really like, you may have to do a little flirting to get her to notice you! If the thought of this makes you get that ‘clueless’ look on your face – no fear! Here are some really great flirting tips for divorced men.


Flattery Will Get You Everywhere –


Women love compliments, but believe it or not – there is a technique to it! The first and most important thing you want to remember is to always be honest when you’re giving compliments. Look for the things that stand out most about a woman – perhaps it’s her eyes or her lips or maybe she is very intelligent – whatever it is, use that as your compliment. Never, ever be dishonest when you’re giving a compliment because she will pick up on it right away. Women are perfectly aware of their flaws and positive traits – so beware!


Make Eye Contact and Listen When She’s Talking –


Another very great tip for flirting is to make eye contact with a woman while she is talking to you. Don’t look away and let your eyes wonder off. If she says something you find interesting, lean in a bit and keep eye focus. Also, ask follow-up questions so that she knows you’re really interested in what she has to say. This is a great way to get her attention and make her feel special! Women love to know that when they are speaking, a guy is actually listening to her, so remember this one!


Avoid Pick-Up Lines –


‘You’re so hot I would drink your bath water.’ Yuck! Whatever you do, avoid pick-up lines. They scream teenager or college boy and they are very unattractive for mature, confident women. If you want to approach a woman, simply walk up to her and say hello. One of the best pick-up lines on earth is a simple smile! Ask her if you can buy her a drink or if you can sit next to her. Mature women can pick up on flirting very easily and you might be surprised how many of them take the lead and you will not feel so uncomfortable!


Using these flirting tips for divorced men, you can meet some great women and have a fantastic time – without looking like a fool! Most of all, just be yourself and you will see how easy it is to get back into the ‘flirting’ state of mind. It’s more than just memory – you’ve got instinct on your side, so don’t worry too much!

If you are facing a divorce, you may be feeling a lot of emotional turmoil and you may also be very depressed. These feelings are very normal. There are a couple of things you can do to help you overcome these negative feelings.

1. Nobody can predict the future. Some marriages work and others do not. It is really important to understand that the divorce is not the end of the world and that there are literally hundreds of people going through the same thing as you are. Search the internet for divorce groups in your area where you can connect with people going through divorce also. Connecting with people who fully understand what you are going through will help you to work through your feelings a little better. And making new friends is always positive!

2. Understand that you are not a bad person because you are getting a divorce. If you and your spouse can no longer get along, there is no reason to live together in a situation that makes you unhappy. Try to see the divorce as a new beginning to a new and exciting life!

3. Look after yourself physically as well as mentally. Make sure you maintain your regular exercise routines and stick to a healthy diet. Keep your energy up and stay positive, especially if there are children involved. Your kids don’t need to see you falling apart, it will cause them unnecessary stress and anxiety.

4. Do not give up or throw in the towel. You need to be able to fight and stand up for yourself especially if things start to get messy. Getting what you want in a divorce is not always possible, but you do have to keep up a good fight to try and get it. Make a list of everything you want out of the divorce and also keep a list of items you can use as bargaining chips.

5. Surround yourself with as many positive people as possible. Keeping your friends and family around you is very important. You need to keep having fun and laughing when you can.

Once the divorce is over and done with you have to be ready to go on with your life. You need to be ready to move forward and make plans for your future. Your life is not over even if you feel like it is. This is a wonderful second chance at making your dreams come true and remember, you deserve happiness!

Tips to save a marriage can be useful guide to help you engage and talk with your spouse to work out the problems threatening your marriage and leading it down the path towards divorce. Some may think that many of these tips in articles are common sense and this is true but often not adhered to. The real threat however is not knowing what top do but in knowing what NOT to do especially when you do not know you are doing it!

Emotional blackmail can be explicit or implicit meaning you can be letting it be known quite directly or you can simply imply it through less obvious methods. It can also be conscious or unconscious meaning you can know you are doing it or often you do not realize you are doing it too!

An example of an explicit conscious emotional blackmail is standing with the children and saying “if you walk out that door you are destroying their lives!” or something similar (please do not do this! Kids are not pawns in your game!)

An example of unconscious and implicit emotional blackmail can be as simple as saying “but I love you!”. If you think about it this is a raw spot when emotions are fragile and they may feel you are trying to force them to drop everything for the sake of love rather that work out a real solution even if you do not realize it and are very sincere in what you say.

Blackmail is an ugly word and causes uglier ramifications and at the simplest level you should not be overt or sneaky and go about trying to manipulate your spouse by any means because this does not solve anything, at best it can simply DELAY it because nothing has been solved and the problems will come back and the road to divorce will start again with a fragile marriage.

On a more complex level you must always be aware of what you are saying and what it might actually mean to your partner. If you want to save your marriage and stop your divorce you must be aware that simple things you say or do might not have the intended effect so if something you are about to say seems even slightly manipulative then stop. Think. Then rephrase it.

For more tips to save a marriage from complete guides written by relationship and marriage experts, click below to get the information you need to repair your failing marriage and avoid a divorce.

Save Your Marriage Here

Tips to save a marriage can be useful guide to help you engage and talk with your spouse to work out the problems threatening your marriage and leading it down the path towards divorce. Some may think that many of these tips in articles are common sense and this is true but often not adhered to. The real threat however is not knowing what top do but in knowing what NOT to do especially when you do not know you are doing it!

Emotional blackmail can be explicit or implicit meaning you can be letting it be known quite directly or you can simply imply it through less obvious methods. It can also be conscious or unconscious meaning you can know you are doing it or often you do not realize you are doing it too!

An example of an explicit conscious emotional blackmail is standing with the children and saying “if you walk out that door you are destroying their lives!” or something similar (please do not do this! Kids are not pawns in your game!)

An example of unconscious and implicit emotional blackmail can be as simple as saying “but I love you!”. If you think about it this is a raw spot when emotions are fragile and they may feel you are trying to force them to drop everything for the sake of love rather that work out a real solution even if you do not realize it and are very sincere in what you say.

Blackmail is an ugly word and causes uglier ramifications and at the simplest level you should not be overt or sneaky and go about trying to manipulate your spouse by any means because this does not solve anything, at best it can simply DELAY it because nothing has been solved and the problems will come back and the road to divorce will start again with a fragile marriage.

On a more complex level you must always be aware of what you are saying and what it might actually mean to your partner. If you want to save your marriage and stop your divorce you must be aware that simple things you say or do might not have the intended effect so if something you are about to say seems even slightly manipulative then stop. Think. Then rephrase it.

For more tips to save a marriage from complete guides written by relationship and marriage experts, click below to get the information you need to repair your failing marriage and avoid a divorce.

Save Your Marriage Here

In doing your uncontested divorce in Florida, you can use the Florida forms, you can prepare the documents yourself, or you can have a divorce lawyer (or family law attorney) prepare the documents for you. Whichever way you decide to go, here are six tips to make an uncontested Florida divorce a reality for you.

1. Determine whether in fact your marriage is broken and cannot be repaired. Nothing is worse than you trying to get a divorce in an amicable fashion when your spouse thinks it can be worked out. In this instance, your uncontested divorce will likely take longer or never happen, meaning it will become contested, while your spouse puts off discussing the issues you need to resolve.

2. If you have children, discuss who they will live with and who will have visitation. A carefully drafted visitation schedule should take into account not only the rights of each parent to spend time with the children, but also the children’s schedule, particularly when they are older.

3. Calculate the child support. Child support in Florida is based on the parties’ net (that is, after tax) income and the amount of time they spend with the children. Unless the children are spending more than forty percent with the parent who has visitation, the standard Florida child support guidelines will apply. More than forty percent time sharing will result in adjustments to that amount. (A discussion of child support when there are children with special needs is beyond the scope of this article.)

Three important things to note about child support payments:

First, if you’re the parent paying it and your are not seeing the children for any reason, you cannot stop paying child support.

Second, if you’re the party who should be receiving it, you do not stop or interfere with visitation if the other parent is not paying it. Only the court can determine that, and nothing makes family judges more upset than parties playing games with visitation and child support.

Lastly, it doesn’t matter what your expenses are—as far as the court is concerned, child support is the number one obligation you will have; it comes before paying your other creditors, like your credit card and car payments, etc.

4. Inventory the property you own and debts you owe. Make a list of both these things, and sit down with your spouse to decide how these will be divided. If you both have property or debt from before the marriage, you need to address those issues too.

5. Make an agreement. Whatever you and your spouse agree on, write it down. This will be your marital settlement agreement which the court will incorporate into your final judgment of dissolution of marriage. This also means, once part of the final judgment, that both of you must comply with the terms of it as if it were set out in the final judgment itself—it will become an order of the court directed at you, the parties to the divorce.

6. If you have any questions, get a consultation with an attorney. Doing your uncontested divorce doesn’t mean you have to do without legal advice on divorce, particularly the legal consequences of any decision you want to make regarding your divorce—once you agree to certain things, you may not be able to change them. Rather, uncontested means you and your spouse will not contest or disagree, not that you and your spouse will not know the legal consequences of your agreement; so seek legal advice for divorce.

(c) Vivian Rodriguez



Since women are the ones who undergo a lot of emotional turmoil during and after the divorce process, they are at a bigger risk of settling for an unfair financial settlement. As a woman, you may be tempted to get over and done with the divorce process as soon as possible so as to put an end to the bitter trauma that you may be experiencing. However, doing so can have disastrous consequences. It is common for women to slip below the poverty line after divorce. Since women are financially vulnerable after divorce, they need to be over-cautious about their finances during and after divorce.

Why Are Women Financially Vulnerable After Divorce?



Women mostly tend to assume the role of a caretaker in a marriage. Therefore, it is common for women to sacrifice their careers in order to take care of their home and family. It is only when divorce is in the offing that women realise that the decision to quit their high-rising careers was a big mistake.



Divorce brings with a lot of changes; you may have to leave your marital home and your financial status may not remain what it used to be. Looking for a new house can be challenging especially if you have children. You may want your children to live in the same neighbourhood to ensure that they still feel close to their friends and familiar surroundings but doing so may mean shelling out more money if the neighbourhood is an expensive one.



If you have been a stay-at-home mom, you may have look for another job to support yourself. If you have children and you are the custodial parent, the task at hand can be tougher. You will have to ensure that your new job not only supports your lifestyle but also that of your children. Many women have no clue about how to take care of monthly finances or yearly savings. Since women rarely involve themselves in financial planning sessions with their husbands, they are more likely to feel financially vulnerable after divorce.

Why Do Many Women Slip Below Poverty Line?



Recent studies have proved that as many as 53.4% of the single mothers with children are below the poverty line. In addition, studies also prove that while men tend to experience only a 10% drop in incomes post-divorce, women are likely to experience as much as 30% drop in income after divorce.



The main reason for this is that when women tend to start their careers after taking a long break from their careers, they do not get hired for highly skilled jobs. In addition, many single custodial mothers can only afford to take up part-time work because the cost of child-care far outweighs the benefits of a fulltime job.

Financial Tips to Make Ends Meet



• If you have no idea about financial planning, it would make sense to gain some knowledge about basic financial planning. For this, you need not enrol yourself in a costly course; researching the Internet is a cost-effective way to gain knowledge on this subject. Research about your savings options such as ISAs, allowances such as jobseeker’s allowance, and basic state pension schemes.



• Make sure that you claim all the benefits that you are entitled to. If you are on low income and want to stay in your marital home rather than anywhere else, the housing benefit scheme in the UK can be very helpful. This scheme can help you towards making your mortgage interest payments when you have a low income stream.



• If you would like to stay in a rental house, you may be eligible for a rent allowance or rent rebate. You will need to contact your local council to get more details about this allowance. Your local council or Citizens Advice Bureau will also be able to assist you if you do not have a home or cannot afford a home.


• You would need to make sure that you claim your full state benefits that you may be entitled to. These may include but are not limited to winter fuel payments, pension credit, and council tax benefit. Single mothers are also entitled to tax credits and costs related to childcare.

If you haven’t dated since your divorce, you can feel a little overwhelmed at the thought of flirting with some man or trying to meet other single adults. The great thing is that most people do feel this way at one point or another, so you’re not alone. Luckily, there are some really great flirting tips for divorced women and this article is dedicated to just that! Without further ado:


Get Confident –


One of the most important things about dating after a divorce is confidence. It’s also one of the sexiest things women can possess. Men absolutely love it when a woman is comfortable in her own skin and is confident when she approaches him – or even when she doesn’t. If you’re not feeling particularly confident, think about all the things you find attractive about your looks and your personality.


Perhaps you have beautiful eyes or pride yourself on your toned body. You might have an amazing sense of humor or something else. Think about these things and write them down. Whenever you’re feeling a little low on confidence, read them and think about each wonderful thing about yourself. This will really help as a confidence booster.


Don’t Be Afraid to Approach Someone –


If you see an attractive, single man, don’t be afraid to approach him. Many times, men are more worried about how to approach you and they will spend all night thinking about it rather than just walking over. So, even if he thinks you’re hot and doesn’t walk over – it doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to. Save him the trouble and go say hi. Smile at him and ask if he is alone and would he mind if you join him. Here comes the fear of rejection, right? You’ve been through DIVORCE. If a man tells you no – what can it possibly do to hurt you? His loss!


Laugh at His Jokes –


Men seem to think that there’s nothing greater than when a woman laughs at his jokes. Hopefully, he’s actually a funny guy and you don’t have to flash that pretend laugh at him, but give him the benefit of the doubt. He could be really nervous so laughing at his jokes will make him feel more at ease. Keep the conversation light and humorous at first – let him see your fun side. It’s as simple as being yourself and letting your own natural charm and personality shine through.


Appeal to His ‘Manly’ Side –


Men can’t admit to it, and some women feel offended by it – but it’s a male’s natural instinct to want to care for a woman. So, if he offers to purchase you something to eat or drink, take him up on it and thank him. It will make him feel great and hey – you just got a free drink, right? If the two of you are walking somewhere, put your hand on his arm and hold it as if he were your escort. This boosts up his ego, making him feel as if he is the only man that is on your mind. Men love this sort of junk! Appealing to his manly side is a great way to let him know that you’re interested.


By using these flirting tips for divorced women, you will find someone you really like in no time flat. Just remember to be yourself and to have fun. Retaining your sense of humor is one of the best things you can do at a time like this!