When you’re having marriage problems how do you know if this is your best option. Many people do not try to work out their issues so they immediately want to file for a first. If you are serious about saving the marriage than it is important for you to have an open line of communication between you and your spouse. This will help you talk to each other and have a better understanding of what is bothering your spouse. It is a good idea that you go to marriage counseling because it is a place to talk about your feelings. The only way a marriage can work is if both partners are open to each other.

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You may have recently run through difficult times in your marriage but always know their are options for you. You do not have to file for divorce because you can work out any difficulties you were having. It is a good idea for you and your spouse to talk with each other so that you know what is bothering the other person. You may also benefit by going to a counselor and having a mediator help both through your issues. If infidelity was involved than it is going to take some time to gain that trust in your spouse again.

Find Tips: After a Divorce

Remember that if you are having marriage problems you may want to consider going to a counselor so that you can work out your issues. It is important for you and your spouse to have an open line of communication so that each of you knows how the other one feels. Try to work out the marriage before you decide to file for a divorce.

The rate of divorce has increased many fold over the years. Most educated couples believe that it is better to have divorced than endure a broken marriage. A divorce is always a very difficult and serious decision for any couple. Irrespective of the time that they have spent in matrimony, divorce can be tough proposition. Not only does it tax the concerned parties mentally and economically but there are other important issues like child custody, property share and alimony to be settled.

Child support is an important issue in a divorce case. The laws across the various states of the USA are more or less uniform on this. There are various child support programs and funding by the state.  Most follow the Family Support Act of 1988 to the core. The main tenet of this law is that the interest of the child will prevail over all other’s interest. Payment for child support is calculated on the basic of three formulas. The first is Income Shares. This is the most used formula where an estimate of the total amount required for raising a child properly is calculated. Both parents income is then calculated and a certain percentage is fixed for the child fund. The second method is called Percentage of Obligor Income. This is based on the non custodian’s income. The third method is known as Delaware-Melson method. The child support amount that you determine may not be the same amount that the Family Court will order.  The child support order may be much higher or much lower, because the Family Court makes the final decision as to what income figures should be used in the calculation based upon the facts presented at the hearing. Some states like Massachusetts use a hybrid of all these methods. The primary  purpose of these laws is to make sure that the child receives the best education and lifestyle, often described as “in the best interest of the child”.

Alimony issues also play an important role during a divorce. This refers to the amount that is paid by one ex-spouse to the other. Some also call this maintenance law or spouse support. Initially courts had a tendency of deciding on the alimony amount directly proportional to the number of year stayed together. But recently the trend is shifting. Now limited duration marriages draw maximum alimony. A spouse who is economically at a disadvantage receives this amount. Alimony is also more common in cases where one parent desires to stay home to care for the children for a period of time.

Divorce Recovery Suite is an on-line community-based organization which provides information and help that an individual requires prior to divorce and after it. Their comprehensive site includes divorce laws, child support and custody, legal separations, child visitation rights, divorce settlements, grounds for divorce, infomation on separation agreements, definitions of adultery, recovery from divorce, child welfare after divorce and a chat room that provides a compassionate community to visitors who are undergoing this uncomfortable process.

The visitors to the site can get exposure to state specific divorce laws and regulations, simple interpretation of the complex laws, live video chat room where people can share their experiences and problems. Visitors are encouraged to share their issues.  You also get access to a country wide list of divorce and separation attorneys, counselors, physical and spiritual healing methods, father’s and grandparents’ rights and solutions to issues of parental alienation. They have regular updated information on the site. Divorce Recovery Suite provides a large library filled with divorce articles.

Child support is an important issue in a divorce case. The laws across the various states of USA are more or less uniform on this. There are various child support programs and funding by the state. Most follow the Family Support Act of 1988 to the core. The main tenet of this law is that the interest of the child will prevail over all other’s interest. Payment for child support is calculated on the basic of three formulas. The first is Income Shares. This is the most used formula where an estimate of the total amount required for raising a child properly is calculated. Both parents income is then calculated and a percentage is fixed for the child’s benefit. The second method is called Percentage of Obligor Income. This is based on the non custodian’s income. The third method is known as Delaware-Melson method. This allows the clause of ability to pay in the process. Some states like Massachusetts use a hybrid of all these methods. The main purpose of all these laws is to make sure that the child receives the best education and lifestyle.

The rate of divorce has increased many fold over the years. Most informed couples believe that it is better to have divorced than to endure a broken marriage. A divorce is always a very difficult and serious decision for any couple. Irrespective of the time that they have spent in matrimony, divorce can be tough proposition. Not only does it tax the concerned parties mentally and economically but there are other important issues like child custody, property share and alimony to be settled.

Alimony issues also play an important role during a divorce. This refers to the amount that is paid by one ex-spouse to the other. Some also call this maintenance law or spouse support. Historically courts had a tendency of deciding on the alimony amount directly proportional to the number of year stayed together. But recently the trend is shifting. Now limited duration marriages draw maximum alimony. A spouse who is economically at a disadvantage receives this amount. Alimony is also more common in cases where one parent desires to stay home to care for the children for a period of time.

Divorce Recovery Suite is an on-line community-based organization which provides support and information that an visitor may require prior to divorce and after it. Their comprehensive site includes divorce laws, child support and custody, information on legal separations, child visitation rights, divorce settlements, grounds for divorce, separation agreements, definitions of adultery, recovery from divorce, child welfare after divorce and a chat room that provides a passionate help to all the couples who are undergoing this uncomfortable process.

The visitors to the site can also get hold of state specific divorce laws and regulations, simple interpretation of the complex laws, live video and text chat room where people can share their experiences and problems. Visitors are encouraged to listen to others problems and provide solutions to those problems. You also get access to a country wide list of divorce and separation attorneys, counselors, physical and spiritual healing methods, father’s and grandparents’ rights and solutions to issues of parental alienation. They have regular updated information on the site.

With the divorce rate at an all time high, it is important to have a full understanding of divorce laws. Nearly 50% of all marriages will end in a divorce. Therefore, it is vital that you know the ins and outs of the laws. Divorce laws do vary from state to state so it is important that you check with the laws for your particular state. However, there are some general laws that apply across the board.


If you are looking for an alternative to the more traditional litigation, divorce mediation might be an option. A mediator’s main priority is to try and help the two parties come to a mutual agreement. The neutral third party is there to ensure that both parties are getting a fair deal. A mediator can work with the spouses to work through problems such as child support, custody, visitation, property division, alimony and much more.


Another alternative to the more traditional litigation is collaborative law. For those divorcing couples who wish to avoid litigation but require strong legal representation, they should consider collaborative law. Collaborative law gives you the ability to retain a team of divorce professionals.


Some people believe that one party will receive a majority of the property division. However, it is more likely that the marital assets will be divided fairly evenly for both parties. Therefore, it is vital that both parties create some clear priorities and decide what is really important to them.


Health insurance and taxation are two other important issues when considering a divorce. If your insurance coverage is through your soon to be ex-spouses employer, then it will be important that you continue to have coverage for yourself and any children involved. This can all be worked out through legal litigation. With regards to taxes it is important to determine what dependency exemptions both parties are eligible for.


There are a variety of divorce laws that are set in place for divorcing couples. Divorce is not an easy situation for anyone. However, by knowing and understanding the divorce laws in your particular state, you can ease some of the headache associated with divorce.

It was always believed, in most parts of the civilised world, that if any two individuals are not being able to lead a happy and contended life together, if their differences seem insurmountable, then they should be granted the opportunity to disengage themselves from their partners.



Thus, as has already been clarified, divorce was not unknown in ancient human societies. However, most marriages in those times were arranged marriages. They had social sanction and the approval of elders.



In such circumstances, a divorce meant social disapproval. It was not termed a healthy practise to follow. The couples also took all possible precautions to make their marriages work. They went out of their way to keep marital harmony intact.



Fear of social disapproval and the reactions from family and friends, fear of even the possibility of being socially ostracized also had its effect on the couples of yore. Thus, even though divorce as such was not unknown, yet it was definitely uncommon.



So, it was that even if the marriages failed to fructify into harmonious relationships, most of the couples chose to still grin and bear it rather than face social ridicule. As a consequence, the divorce rate was very low. Separation from a spouse was also not a common thing.



However, as human society evolved, so did all the laws governing it. The increased participation of women in the workforce translated into greater clout for women. It was soon followed by the women’s liberation movements.



They advocated not only that greater amount of freedom should be granted to women but also that laws should also be made favourable to them. These movements had a great impact on the society and culture of their times.



As a consequence of the above mentioned factors and a more liberal attitude of both the governments and society, the divorce laws were also relaxed. The word divorce no longer had the same kind of stigma attached to it as was the case in the past.



Over the passage of time, the now relaxed divorce related laws were relaxed even further. It was opined that if the couple is not able to face the trials and tribulations of married life together, then they should be provided an honourable way out of their marriage.



The pain and difficulties faced by divorcing couples on account of lengthy and extended divorce proceedings were also a factor in prompting simpler divorce procedures. We had a situation where if the couple wanted to divorce then they could do so with ease.


The era of contested divorce was coming to an end. More and more divorce cases were collaborative in nature and only a miniscule minority of the cases was contested. This continues to be the situation even today.



As more and more single parent families started becoming the norm in British society, the stigma attached to the word divorce also decreased considerably. Today, divorce is no longer looked down upon in society and is an established part and parcel of the same.


Unfortunately though, all the above mentioned factors have given rise to a rather piquant situation. As the divorce laws have been relaxed to a great deal, to help the divorcing couples, marriage as an institution has come under assault.



In today’s day and age, an ever increasing number of marriages are ending in divorce. Most of the marriages break down in the first two years. The couple simply decides to go in for a collaborative divorce and the easier laws help them it through it.



All this is leading to a large number of disrupted families which have been torn apart on account of divorce. This is having a very negative impact on society as a whole. This is not what was initially visualised while relaxing the divorce procedures.



Perhaps time has come to once again tighten the laws and to make divorce a difficult proposition for married couples. This should definitely go a long way in checking the lop sided impact on the society, so that divorce may be granted in extreme cases only.



Such self appointed arbitrators of moral values and ethics believe that it is their duty to protect the bothersome legal procedures existing in our domestic law that pretend to save the so-called sanctity of marriage. No heed is paid to the marital issue in question and the circumstances governing it.

Historical Perspective



One major reason for this dilemma is the interference of religious ethics in the emerging social issues. During the Roman times, family and marriage came within the ambit of comprehensive state laws with no religious or mystical appendages tagged to them. The establishment of Roman Catholic Church in Europe was marked by an increased interference of the Church in personal and family matters.



Though Protestant reformation in the 1500s supported the bifurcation of the Church and legal matters, still, the Anglican Church carried on with the policies of its Catholic predecessors. So strong was the grip of the clergy in domestic affairs that between 1669 and 1850, only 229 divorces were granted in England.



But now, the time has come to accept that we are a modern, secular society and to sort out the complications created by religious influences in domestic law. Tyrannical divorce laws can no more be tolerated.

Divorce and Accompanying Hassles



Any individual who has faced a contested divorce suit is painfully aware of the fact that legal procedures are always accompanied by massive expenditures in terms of time, money and efforts. Lawyers and judges are seldom concerned about the emotional state of people involved in such a feud and their sense of justice compels them to focus on the more logical issues such as alimony, custody, visitation and division of assets. The irony is that two adult people can sort out these issues in a much more amicable atmosphere, without going through the bother of attending court proceedings. The only impediment in the way of this streamlined approach is the arcane and strict divorce law that is in effect.



Uncountable numbers of lawyers are earning their livelihood through people facing marital problems and a whole industry has developed around such a personal issue called divorce. Even friendly spouses are forced into leveling charges and faults against each other to satisfy the tough legal requirements for getting a divorce. Large amounts of money are wasted in procuring decisions about one’s personal life. People often go bankrupt while pursuing a bitterly contested divorce suit. Do we still have to continue with such nonsense in the name of the law? Does it make any sense to enforce such legal modalities in such a private and sensitive matter as divorce?

Women and Children



It is especially difficult for women who are being divorced to manage the entire affair and not be short-changed. The sense of hurt generated by a divorce situation is further worsened by the mandatory legal hassles. The scars left by a hotly contested divorce suit make the possibility of a successful post divorce rehabilitation and positive co parenting almost impossible. Children have to bear with the consequences of unwholesome domestic affairs in the form of lengthy court hearings. Many a time, they are sucked into the divorce case, giving testimony. The existing divorce laws should be restructured to be in line with the latest developments in the area of conflict resolution and child psychology.

Special Issues



Special marital scenarios marked by emotional abuse, violence, drug addiction and alcoholism do deserve speedy justice in the courts of law. Practically it has been seen that months are spent in establishing and proving the charges against an abusive spouse, resulting in untold suffering and harassment for the victim. Had the existing divorce laws been rational and pragmatic, a lot of victimized spouses would have been saved the trauma of bearing with an abuser because of legal glitches. Justice delayed is justice denied. Hence such stringent divorce laws amount to the denial of justice.

Conclusion



Divorce laws should certainly be made easier and more relaxed so that people who want to split can do it quickly, efficiently and with their dignity intact. A divorce is supposed to be a solution to a problem. What is the fun of continuing with the laws that make the divorce procedure in itself a big problem?

Complicated laws entangle the divorcing couple into legal hassles and aggravate their unhappy state. Unable to solve through the judicial issues, separating spouses get forced to hire expensive solicitors and fight out long-drawn court battles. This compels the entire family into the court room. Children and other relatives get sucked into the case giving testimony. Moreover, hiring divorce lawyers drains the already sparse family resources. Families slip into extreme economic difficulty following the separation.



Such a situation is extremely difficult for both the spouses, more so for the woman who is a respondent in the divorce case. The unexpected marital termination and managing the entire divorce affair all alone will expose her to the risk of being short-changed.



To prevent victimisation of the aggrieved party and development of such difficult situations, it is necessary that divorce laws be made more easy and relaxed. People intending a split should be enabled to do so quickly and efficiently with their dignity intact.

Liberalise Divorce Laws



‘Marriages are for life’ — every person tying the knot believes so, and aspires for it. However, practical life is much different from lofty beliefs or ideal scenarios.



Usually, people marry (the first time) when they are in their late 20s or early 30s and a few marry young. When they ultimately find it incompatible to live with their spouse, they should be given the freedom to get out of the situation, though divorce laws will leave them trapped in an unsuccessful marriage, and force them to suffer for the next half of a century (General life expectancies in the UK are 79.4 years.).



Stringent laws not only affect the suffering spouses, but also they emotionally damage the children. These innocent victims who live in an environment made despondent by regular insults, fear, and sadness will turn emotionally insecure and develop adjustment problems. Research has proved that if children grow with single parents, in an environment devoid of such negativity, they mature into healthy individuals.



However, at the other end of the spectrum lies an entirely different view-point. Many people fear that if divorces are made extremely easy, people will lose interest to invest adequately in a marriage. They will be less inclined to help their spouse succeed professionally or deliberate long term plans that financially benefit the entire family. Some, therefore, argue against making laws easier and such opponents presumably outnumber the advocates.

Liberal Divorce Laws and Enhanced Divorce Rate



Adversaries of liberal divorce laws also believe that if divorce becomes easier to obtain, married people will contemplate it at the first hint of trouble.



These arguments appear biased. People, who opt for a divorce, are much aware of the negative consequences of their decision. Rarely does anyone terminate a marriage just because the law easily enables them to do so.



Divorce laws must be relaxed so that unhappy marital partners are not made to suffer just because they married wrong. However, to prevent couples from terminating low-conflict marriages, a few measures must be implemented.



Every divorce (where domestic violence is absent) should be granted after ascertaining that couples have tried out marriage counselling. Such sessions develop the communication and problem solving skills of conflicting couples and teach them the value of compromise.



Separating spouses should also be encouraged to evaluate the consequence of their choice on their children, career, financial status and even their health. Such insistence prevents divorce in haste, for those who divorce thus repent in leisure.



Divorce laws should not only be made easier, they should also aim at preventing contested divorces. Families can be safeguarded from the evils of contested divorces by legalising prenuptial agreement for one of the most contended issues during divorce is financial settlement. It should also be made mandatory for all couples to undergo divorce counselling before contesting their case.



Such measures, if implemented, will rid society of the evils associated with divorce. Merely making laws more stringent will only turn families unhappy, and this will harm not only the society but even the nation at large.