Tips to save a marriage can be useful guide to help you engage and talk with your spouse to work out the problems threatening your marriage and leading it down the path towards divorce. Some may think that many of these tips in articles are common sense and this is true but often not adhered to. The real threat however is not knowing what top do but in knowing what NOT to do especially when you do not know you are doing it!

Emotional blackmail can be explicit or implicit meaning you can be letting it be known quite directly or you can simply imply it through less obvious methods. It can also be conscious or unconscious meaning you can know you are doing it or often you do not realize you are doing it too!

An example of an explicit conscious emotional blackmail is standing with the children and saying “if you walk out that door you are destroying their lives!” or something similar (please do not do this! Kids are not pawns in your game!)

An example of unconscious and implicit emotional blackmail can be as simple as saying “but I love you!”. If you think about it this is a raw spot when emotions are fragile and they may feel you are trying to force them to drop everything for the sake of love rather that work out a real solution even if you do not realize it and are very sincere in what you say.

Blackmail is an ugly word and causes uglier ramifications and at the simplest level you should not be overt or sneaky and go about trying to manipulate your spouse by any means because this does not solve anything, at best it can simply DELAY it because nothing has been solved and the problems will come back and the road to divorce will start again with a fragile marriage.

On a more complex level you must always be aware of what you are saying and what it might actually mean to your partner. If you want to save your marriage and stop your divorce you must be aware that simple things you say or do might not have the intended effect so if something you are about to say seems even slightly manipulative then stop. Think. Then rephrase it.

For more tips to save a marriage from complete guides written by relationship and marriage experts, click below to get the information you need to repair your failing marriage and avoid a divorce.

Save Your Marriage Here

With the rising rate of divorce in the world we start asking a lot of questions about marriage. Why did people stay together more in previous years unlike now? Did our parents and grandparents and know something the current generation is lacking or is it a social phenomenon we cannot truly control in a world that is changing so fast it is hard to keep our relationships working as they should? While these questions are endlessly debated the truth is marriage can be hard work and I do not think that has ever not been the case. For those that want to defy the statistics and stop a divorce that may be coming here are 3 tips to save a marriage that many people may think is counter intuitive but they actually work!

1. Do not Reassure



Do you constantly find yourself saying things like “I will change I swear!” or “It will all be ok, it will ok!”. Do you think these throw away lines are actually going to change their mind? If you say you are going to change but have not changed in the course of your marriage will they believe you even if it is what you think they want to hear? You intentions may be completely pure and honest but if you are at the stage where divorce is on the horizon times are so desperate you need to realize that actions speak louder than words and that your spouse is probably not receptive to much that you say. Last minute platitudes sound weak when your partner is looking for strength. So resist the urge to say something or make promises and instead just do the things you need to without paying lip service to them.

2. Avoid emotional blackmail



While this may sound like common sense so many couples both indulge is trying to make the other feel bad by manipulating emotions in a hope it will shock them out of their way of thinking or just out of petty vengeance. If you want to save your marriage you need to disengage from emotional battle which simply does not work. Probing at soft raw emotional areas such as children and of your love when couples are hostile defiantly gets a reaction but they are usually resentful that you take such a tactic and will end up pushing them away more. One big change in thinking is that you should not say “I love you”, these are powerful words in any language but when both you and your partners emotions are in such a whirl it can be misconstrued and is better left for a time when things can be mended and those words can be said with a clear head and a clear heart and can be taken the right way.

3. Do not argue



This is the big one that most people have serious problems with. Arguments are common when divorce is on the way and the need to defend yourself when verbally attacked while you are angry and distraught is very high. Talking back and launching counter attacks are not going to save your marriage even if you think you are right or your partner is badly misinformed about something arguing leads to more arguing and builds barriers between couples that eventually become insurmountable and a divorce is certain. The answer is simple but can be very painful for a while; Do not argue! Do not talk back, do not try to fix it and do not raise hostility levels. But how do you fix a problem without fixing it? By stopping the endless cycle of arguments and lowering hostility levels. If you do not defend yourself you will find your partner will not attack you, it is hard to shoot at an unarmed person especially one that you love and very often they start defending you! The bottom line is if you feel you have to win they will feel like they cannot lose and it never ends except in divorce. So lay your ego aside and let love come back into the relationship on a clean slate.



I hope you can use these tips to save a marriage to get back the love and connection you once had and avoid a messy and agonizing divorce. Everyone has a chance to save themselves from being another sad statistic as long as we know what really needs to be done in a relationship for the long term.