Most women at some point in their lives will find themselves involved with a recently separated or divorced man. You will read some dating tips for women that discourage you from putting yourself in this situation.


Is it really that big of deal though?


The answer to this question is a little bit yes and a little bit no.


People marry, divorce and meet someone new quite commonly. While divorce brings many more complications than traditional boyfriend/girlfriend breakups, the aftermath is just like any other breakup, there is the period of adjustment. Hollywood will often depict this time with a broken down man, holed up in his apartment, unshaven, in need of a haircut, walking around in boxers and a bathrobe, eating cereal, drinking beer and playing video games. Eventually he cleans up, shaves and ventures back out into the real world. Perhaps he catches your fancy and you think he is well over the hurt and anger from the divorce, seemingly ready to date.


Be warned, though, that there is still plenty of excess baggage there and you should investigate before getting involved. You need to know what this baggage is and whether or not its something you can deal with.


One of the first dating tips in this situation is knowing what his intentions are with you. Is he really looking for something serious or is he just playing the field and seeing what his options are? Is he looking to casually date, bed at least a dozen more women before getting serious again or is he wanting another commitment?


There are some great guys coming out of a divorce that are still absolute romantics. They believe in relationships and commitment, but were just in the wrong situation previously. On the opposite end of the spectrum, some men may be all too eager to re-enter the dating world, especially if they were the one that exited the marriage. Maybe they married young and never really had a chance to date much. This guy could be looking to make up for lost time.


You will also need to know the specifics of the divorce and if he wants a relationship with you at some point. Emphatically state that you will not be the transition girl. However, if its a matter of him needing more time to know for sure, think it over because there could be so much going on with him psychologically and emotionally that he is confused. Particularly if the ex-wife left him for someone else or simply because she fell out of love with him. He may be undergoing some trust issues and will need more time to truly let someone else in. He needs to communicate this to you and you need to trust that he is not using the – oh, I am divorced – routine for sympathy or an excuse for his apparent commitment phobia. A great deal of patience, understanding and trust will be necessary if you are really into this guy.


If there are children involved you need to ask yourself if you are capable of handling this. Chances are, with children in the equation, his ex-wife will still have a regular presence in his life. Its a package deal and you must have confidence in yourself to accept it. You cant be worrying about the ex having a better body than you, making more money than you or the children preferring to be with her more than you. It really can be a difficult situation to walk into.


Here is one of the more telling signs when it comes to identifying how serious he is with you. If you are together for a few months and you have not been introduced to his parents/relatives, his ex-wife and children, or his friends, it may be safe to assume that he is not sure what sort of commitment he is prepared to make just yet.


So look out for these signs when dating a divorced man and make sure you dont misread the situation and end up hurt.

You have just gotten over a divorce and you are unsure if you are able to accept someone else again. If you are coming to terms with this issue, you are not alone. Most divorced people do not know if they really need a partner again, especially those with children. Will my new partner be able to accept my kids? Will my new partner treat me better than my last husband/wife? Whatever the reasons for the divorce are, you need to start thinking about the future. You need to know that the divorce is not entirely your fault and that you need not take full responsibility. Remember, you have the right to love someone else again.

Here are some tips for those who are seeking a new relationship.

1. Understand that your new partner is not a replacement of your previous relationship. Do not expect your new date to understand or do the things that your ex-spouse did. Each of us are different and in order to live a fulfilling life, you need to let go of your past.

2. Give yourself, and your new partner, time. It can be really difficult to accept a new love, especially if you had been hurt in your previous relationship. But like I say, not everyone is the same. He/she might not treat you the same way as your ex-spouse did. Learn as much things about him/her during the dating stage. If you think that things cannot work out, just move on.

3. Assess your current self-worth. Do you feel an all-time low and that your self-esteem has hit rock bottom? If you are suffering from a negative self-image, it is important that you take steps to create a positive image. Sit down and make a list of your positive attributes. You can also talk to a close friend about this. By reaffirming your good qualities, you are picking up where you left off. A good way to build your confidence is to read books on motivation and personal development.

4. Plan activities. Offer to hold parties with your friends and family, and invite your new date over. By doing so, your new love can get to know you and your friends better, and vice versa. Your friends can also help to access if your new partner is worth keeping.

5. Know that not everyone fits your criteria. Dating is a ‘testing’ stage and do not be too upset when things don’t work out. Take it as a lesson learnt. You just have to move on and look for the right person. If you choose to dwell over the past, your love problems will just lurk around you. Guess what? You are back to square one.

Confessions of Every Man’s “Dream Woman



According to Michael P. Johnson, professor of sociology at Penn State, there are three things that keep a person in a marriage: people want to stay, they feel they ought to stay, and/or they have to stay. This combination of personal, moral, and structural commitment serves to keep people in marriages.


Notice that commitment keeps people in marriage–not happiness. Dr. Ted Huston of the University of Texas Austin studied couples from courtship to marriage. His ten-year-plus study exploded many popular misconceptions about love. For example, he found that many recently wed couples did not experience newlywed bliss; in fact, couples whose marriages began with “Hollywood romance” intensity soon burned out. A couple expecting wedded bliss every day of their lives was actually more likely to divorce than a couple with a less exciting relationship, because they were more likely to consider divorce when those intense feelings subsided. Does that mean that less exciting, even lackluster relationships last? They do indeed, perhaps because they have less far to fall.


Research shows that unhappy periods in a marriage are not indicative of future unhappiness. In fact, one study showed that 86% of unhappily married couples who stayed with their marriage were happier five years later–three fifths of whom were “quite” or “very happy.”


According to the 2004 “State of Our Unions” report by the National Marriage Project, the percentage of married people 18 or older who said that their marriage was very happy has declined over the last quarter century, from about 69% in the mid 1970s to 64% for men and 60% for women today. That’s less than two-thirds of the married population who considers themselves very happy in their relationship. Clearly, you don’t have to be blissfully in love or very happy for your relationship to last. What do you need?


It’s not love and luck. It’s commitment and companionship. Commitment means that you have powerful personal, moral, and structural reasons to stay in the relationship. Companionship means that you and your partner form a unified team against whatever challenges life hands you. Team members may fight, disagree, and encounter stalemates, but they know that their happiness and satisfaction in life depends on the success of the team–not on their individual success.


When Marriage Fails … Who and How


Contrary to popular belief, it’s not men who seek divorce. It’s women, by an overwhelming majority. The reasons for this are varied. Part of it is the nature of divorce laws; another part is the fact that men tend to have more problems with marriage-destroying behaviors like alcoholism, affairs, and substance abuse, that cause their wives to seek separation.


Divorce is hard on everyone. The damage divorce causes to children is usually worse than the damage caused by living in a two-parent home with marital difficulties. This is contrary to the popular belief that children are better off if their parents divorce rather than live together. Studies show that only in a minority of high-conflict situations is this true.


After a divorce, a woman’s standard of living can be expected to drop while a man’s standard of living may actually improve. Yet men suffer in other ways. Divorced and separated men are two and a half times more likely to commit suicide than married men. This is partially due to the fact that men, unlike women, are less likely to have a strong support network to share their feelings. Whether due to this need for companionship or not, divorced men are more likely to remarry than divorced women, and they’re more likely to remarry sooner.


Who Has the Real Power in a Relationship


Regardless of whether you’re a man or a woman, whether you pay the bills or stay at home, or whether you need your spouse more than your spouse needs you, there is only one person in control of any relationship. That person has the power to turn a relationship around or run it into the ground. And that person usually never realizes how much power he/she wields until it is too late.


That person is you.


You have the choice to either react to the situation you’re in (by complaining about your marriage, allowing yourself to be swamped by negative emotions, or feeling out of control), or to take responsibility and choose your actions. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can hurt you without your consent.”


Even if you cannot change your partner’s behavior, you can choose how you respond to that behavior. You can internalize the blame, the hurt, and the criticism, or you can take responsibility for your own feelings and choose to act the way you want to feel.


Think again about that last concept. You should act the way you want to feel. If you want to feel more loving towards your spouse, act more loving. If you want to feel happier in your marriage, smile more and express gratitude for the good things in your marriage. It’s one of the strangest aspects of human psychology that the more you act the way you want to feel (thankful, peaceful, loving, affectionate, etc.) the more you will begin to feel that way.


Few people realize this. When a marriage begins to crumble, their first instinct is to act out their emotions. They feel hurt, so they lash out. They feel criticized, so they become defensive. They feel vulnerable, so they close up. These are reactions, not actions. Your feelings should NOT make you act in ways that you don’t want to.


You have the power to transform your marriage, even if your partner doesn’t want to. That’s because your behavior has an enormous influence on your partner, to the point that married people actually grow alike over time. We can’t help but pick up our partner’s moods, preferences, and ways of saying certain things. If you transform yourself–your attitude, the way you communicate, how often you show love and affection–your partner will be incapable of resisting. A happy, fulfilling relationship begins with you. And in the next part of this mini-course, I’ll show you how to start achieving it.


For an excellent resource and further information, visit Amy Waterman’s – Save My Marriage Today



Dating & Relationship Advice For Today’s Singles



Online


I’ve been giving free online dating advice because I have two objectives – to make sure you are successful with your online dating, and to make sure you stay safe. For starters, the best online services are nerve.


People


Most people get involved with their exes again, and live happily for a few months. While it used to be that successful matches made online, the ones where marriage resulted, were the things of headlines and tabloids, that’s not the case these days where more and more people are meeting online, forming fast friendships and then turning those connections romances that work.


Date


One of the most recurring mental blocks men face before they date is their eagerness to plunge into a deep, stable and unbreakable relationship. After all, this is your first date and the two of you are getting to know each other.


Person


Dating has often been called a “game” because each person is trying to figure out what the other person wants out of the relationship. There are sites for nearly every type of person and lifestyle out there and you will find at least one that suits you perfectly.


Yourself


- Calm yourself by telling yourself you’re excited, not nervous. In short, I’m talking about opening yourself up to a life that embraces Mr. What’s the point of spending money to join, spending time to write a profile, spending time answering a questionairre, only to eliminate yourself from 95% of those searching for you.


Relationship


In essence, courtship is a word that has been applied to describe the biblical basis for the relationship leading up to marriage. So needless to say, I did not listen to my husband, but thought because I had such an open relationship with my daughter and we had been talking about sex since she was 13 years old that she would never have sex…I was very, very wrong.


Love


Women love to laugh. And they are not as keen on actual jokes as men often are – they prefer spontaneous wit and they love to be gently teased. Women love charm, so long as it is natural, cool and unpretentious.


Meet


Your friends start trying to fix you up and you begin to consider going out to meet new people… of the opposite sex. Online dating and personals sites are great ways to meet a variety of people all over the world, but with such convenience it’s easy to lose control.


Single


Women often grumble about the inventory of single men saying, “There are no good men available. I spoke with eight single men in their 40’s who are members of a local dating service. What percentage of single people find bars and dance clubs a useful way to meet other single people.


Internet


If you ever plan on actually meeting people in person from Internet dating services, then be honest. Online Dating is drawing more and more people to the Internet in search of love, but the abundance of dating sites can be confusing for many.


Friends


Women tend to be more person-centred than men are – they love to have lots of friends – and you should have some women as friends for that reason: they will introduce you to their women friends. It involves the initial contact, the getting to know you, the first meeting, the second and subsequent dates, the first kiss, the first moment of true intimacy, sharing hopes and dreams, introducing friends and family, daily contact, blah, blah, blah.


Services


To-date websites offering dating services whether for the same cultural individuals or not, can be found scattered on the web. The concept of dating services is nothing new; it has a history of its own. Their services remain limited to the circulation of the paper.


Singles


You will find regular Speed Dating events in most major cities up and down these countries, and most singles usually go back for more. With so many singles still afraid to try online dating chances are they could end up staying single.


Dates


Gay males and females can find a plenty of options for dates on these sites. Not only will individuals be able to save some money this way; but they would also be able to impress their dates by including some of their favorite foods in the picnic basket.


Profile


This means you pay to view profiles and to have your profile matched with potential dates. I placed my profile on several sites and surveyed the marketplace. Never include your last name, home address, phone number, place of employment, email address or any other identifying information in your profile or initial messages.


Success


With each ticking second your anticipation grew as you weighed the odds of success versus the usually greater odds of rejection and the added embarrassment of looking like a jerk. Let me tell you how you can get big success on your first date itself.


Questions


Sometimes when I read some questions posted by people on dating on forums, I find curious phenomena. Ask simple questions that will help uncover a person’s passions. Thinking about the answers to these questions and concerns, I came up with a well-received presentation, which I’ll highlight here:


Conversation


The sum of the conversation is that “Christian Dating” is a territory that needs more attention simply because of the secularist ideas of dating that seem to market self- serving motives.


Successful


” Many of these sites boast of thousands of successful matches made in heaven and just as many marriages. If you are considering online dating, there are a few tips that can help make the experience a more enjoyable and successful one.


Speed


New research shows that singletons are flocking to speed dating events across the globe in their quest to find Mr or Ms right. Thinking about trying this new speed dating craze. The course and speed of the game is decided by her.


Message


But what most people don’t realise is that only around 10% of dating site members actually meet a long-term partner on their chosen site and a whopping 70% don’t even receive one message from another member. It’s quick to join them, it’s easy to message someone and because you know they are ‘looking’, you are speaking to someone that you already know is available.



Dating & Relationship Advice To Start You Off



Online


You will always here scaremonger stories of how it isn’t safe, and too many online dating services have fake profiles. Singles all over the world are looking for other avenues to find love, and with our online dating tips, you will be one step closer to meeting your future partner and possible soul mate.


People


Many people fall in love in the beginning because they found the shape of nose to be very cute or the laughter very attractive. This is usually what people see first. In my work as a Marriage and Family Therapist most of my practice has been working with couples, because after experiencing divorce growing up as a child, and again after a ten year first marriage, I decided that my mission is to help people have successful marriages and families, and I thought the best way to do that would be as a marriage counselor.


Date


I am very attracted to a man at work and would like to go out on a date with him. ‘Right,’ my date replied. One bad date does not define who you are.


On the first date be a little cautious about the questions you answer.


Person


It is in man’s nature to find his or her partner in life; unless of course the person has made a commitment to the “Single for Life Club”. The purpose of flirtation is to interest another person in you, so showing them what’s great about you is the way to go.


Yourself


Believing you need to make yourself more appealing to attract a partner. – Calm yourself by telling yourself you’re excited, not nervous. In short, I’m talking about opening yourself up to a life that embraces Mr.


What’s the point of spending money to join, spending time to write a profile, spending time answering a questionairre, only to eliminate yourself from 95% of those searching for you.


Relationship


In essence, courtship is a word that has been applied to describe the biblical basis for the relationship leading up to marriage. So needless to say, I did not listen to my husband, but thought because I had such an open relationship with my daughter and we had been talking about sex since she was 13 years old that she would never have sex…I was very, very wrong.


Meet


The advice that I will be offering you is simple and common sense tips that many singles should already know, or after reading this article, should understand what it takes to meet someone special online. Instead, meet in a public place during daylight hours.


Love


So why not pretend to be one of those experts, and tell them things they love to hear. Women love to hear this, from as many people as possible. Come to think of it, all of us as humans love to live in our own comfort zones.


Single


First Corinthians 7 instructs that single brothers and sisters be permitted to marry. I have one friend who was so jaded with regard to relationships and dating, that she had been single for about 3 years. What do single mothers do about dating when they have children at home?


Internet


Hooking up via the Internet is a common trend these days. An internet dating site with millions of members may sound great, but if only three members live anywhere within 1,000 miles of you, it might not be a good fit.


Services


Well, in the next few minutes you will read a comparison between online and offline US dating services and the writers’ opinion on the best dating services. Yet, there are certain services I would prefer paying for. In the huge pool of internet dating services, there are very decent dating sites with tens of thousands of members rather than millions of profiles, giving much better services than bigger dating sites, who are only concerned with their marketing campaign and their sales.


Friends


These are the friends I know for many years, and to me they seem like the type of people that any men or women would desire and be happy to meet, and date; the typical situation is going on numerous, endless blind and non-blind dates, and getting disappointed and many times crushed.


Singles


Before you attend the next singles event or share emails with someone on Match. Busy legitimate singles with limited time can readily meet other singles with similar interests for friendship, dating, or commitment purposes while online. Date up to twenty enthusiastic singles in one evening of whirlwind dating.


Dates


The perky hostess sympathized, saying that she knew of one successful man who had a rule for the women he dates: Half his age plus seven years. To be able to pick and choose and go through dates like they were calendar pages to be tossed away with each passing day.


Profile


If you have decided to find yourself an ideal partner through online dating sites then making a great profile is one of the first steps to achieve that. How to make your online Profile seductive and what to look for in other people profile to know if they are your type or not.


Success


They don’t think about getting success on the first date. Let me tell you how you can get big success on your first date itself. Yet don’t sabotage your success of possibly getting a yes by having an inner tendency to expect rejection.


Conversation


Confidence, self-perception, and the ability to hold a conversation and make a woman feel comfortable are all-important elements to succeeding with and attracting women. This didn’t require deep and complicated conversation but rather open honest words spoken in love and sincerity revealing the person.


Questions


Ask them questions about what they think about just before talking to a woman. You might like to ask questions like:. That means learning to listen – and to show you are listening by asking appropriate questions and using the right body language.


Speed


New research shows that singletons are flocking to speed dating events across the globe in their quest to find Mr or Ms right. Thinking about trying this new speed dating craze. The course and speed of the game is decided by her.


Successful


” Many of these sites boast of thousands of successful matches made in heaven and just as many marriages. Exuding the alpha male confidence is the first step in successful interactions with women, it’s very simple and isn’t a silly dating game.



Tips On Body Language for Successful Flirting



Male and female courtship signals have been studied, and the basic conclusions are that these signals are completely unconscious. The more you consciously understand the signals, the better and more successful you will be when courting the object of your desire, whether it is the man or woman of your dreams.


To master the art of successful flirting, you have to feel good about yourself first. Be confident. Be yourself, or else you will look deceitful or desperate. Flirting can be utilized in just about anything, not just in attracting the opposite sex, but also in attaining just about anything you want in your life. This can be described as good flirting. Good flirting should be done with a precise understanding of what you really want, coupled with positive sensations.


Here are their tips on how you can put good flirting to your advantage:


1. Don’t worry about whether you are making a good impression or not. Instead, analyze how you can make the other person feel good. By doing this, you will get the feedback you are expecting. Soon you will make the connection.


2. Flirting can help you make friends or impress a client if you make yourself approachable. Put a smile on your face, as it gives you an aura of being friendly.


3. Remember that you cannot attract people just by sitting or standing like a statue. There will be instances when you will encounter a person who gets a little bit too close for comfort feel, or someone who makes you feel you are already invading privacy. No matter what you do, you would get a so-called “vacuum” reaction. Tough one, huh? You can avoid this by using gentle moves and by calibrating the person’s reactions to you. Be aware of these signals: mouths get larger, the lips swell, eyes widen, pupils dilate, skin flushes and changes color, muscles around the mouth move, among others.


4. Be persistent. Flirting works best when you are patient. By being such, you will have room for improvement if at first you aren’t getting the results you want. If you fail the first time, do it again the second time, third time, just keep trying. Try different approaches until you realize what will really work best for you. If you were rejected, don’t give up. This goes with the sayings, “To err is human” and “Nobody’s perfect.”


5. This is probably for me the most interesting and somehow funniest tip I got: “Practice in the mirror, only then can you make it perfect!” This is especially true in meeting friends and prospects, because flirting may involve unwanted actions and attention which can put you in the bad light. You may be spontaneous in your actions, but you can’t guard yourself if you are already overdoing it, and I supposed you don’t want to be in that situation. Try practicing with your close friends and ask for feedback.


6. Make the first move! Opportunities knock only once, so if you want something or even someone, go for it, now! Let go of your inhibitions. But remember to apply positive or good flirting. Who knows if the person you meet at that moment is your gateway towards the fulfillment of your dreams.


Let Your Body Language Do The Flirting


Do you know why some people seem to have an easier time attracting the opposite sex? Here’s what you can to do in order to catch the eye of your Honey Bunch.


1. Smile sincerely and frequently. In his article “The Six Don Juan Commandments of Body Language,” Allen Thompson wrote that smiling is “The simplest, most obvious, and most powerful of the body language commandments.” He also mentions that “Smiling conveys, both instantly and clearly, many wonderful things about yourself. Smiling demonstrates confidence, friendliness, a positive attitude, a good mood, and it gives the impression that you’re someone who is, most likely, fun to be with. It’s also very difficult to ignore.”


2. Have a sense of humor. Learn to laugh at petty matters. People love to be with those who can turn any situation into a funny setting.


3. Maintain eye contact. Your eyes are probably the most expressive parts of your body. When you look at your dear one constantly, you are expressing your sincere intentions. Eye contact also establishes a bond between two persons. They would naturally feel more comfortable in each other’s company.


4. Nod your head. By nodding, you signify your approval and you encourage the other party to continue talking. You give reassurance that your loved one is doing ok.


5. Be open, physically. Do not cross your arms across the chest or hold obstructive objects (such as a food) between the two of you. Put your hands on your sides (and if possible put your palms up) to convey openness.



Fathers should be honored



Now adays fathers are not honored. The good fathers take a bad rap from the bad fathers. The truth is there is alot of hard working, caring and loving fathers out there. We should celebrate father’s day like we celebrate mother’s day.


Make father’s days a special day. Take him out to a baseball game, to a movie. Get him a unique gift. Something that shows he is special. Not just a father’s day card with just a signature.


Let’s not forget about our fathers. They also have to be reminded that they are doing a great job. Fathers are not perfect they also make mistakes. So if he needs to be forgiven, forgive him. What a great father’s day present that would be.



3 Questions To Ask Yourself If You’re Ready To Live Your Dream



One thing potential entrepreneurs continuously ask me is what should I be doing to get started? Should I be researching business ideas? Should I be writing a business plan? Where can I go to get inspiration on a business?


Where I would start is by asking yourself three questions. Now, If I were to ask you these three questions in person, I would ONLY share them with you if you promised to take action. Because if there was any ONE thing that I see lacking with most people who think they want to become wealthy and those who know that they are going to be and that is ACTION.


Here are the three questions you MUST ask yourself in order to make independence your own reality.


1. Are you serious about REALLY living your dream?


2. Are you on the right track to get where you want to be?


3. What can you do today get yourself closer to your dream?


That’s it? You mean that’s all you’re going to give me Benny? C’mon – there has got to be some super-secret recipe that you can tell me that will start me on my way, some ONE thing that will lead me on my path to millions?


One thing that I’ve also learned is that my path is completely different than anybody else’s. I tried to do things exactly as others before had done, and it just doesn’t work. Now, there are some similar things that have been done before and will surely work. But what you want and what somebody else wants are two completely different things. That is why you won’t hear me telling you how to do things.


I learned some time ago that this thing called your “Why” is what gets you going NOT the “How”. There are a ton of books by these so-called gurus that will tell you how to trade stocks, or show you how they made millions by doing an infomercial. I love learning how they did it, but it might not necessarily be for me.


Alright, I hear you out there. Please show me something! Do you really want to make a million dollars or more? Do you want to know a business that will, if you are serious, take time to educate yourself and make smart business moves, you can become successful? Okay, it’s Real Estate. It is time-tested and proven and I have several friends who are worth millions because of real estate.


Tell me , what’s your HONEST reaction? Was it something like “No kidding, I’m doing that already.” , “Oh, I could never fix toilets at 2:00 AM”, “Should I flip houses, buy and rent?” or was is “Real Estate – nah too hard.” The truth is real estate has created thousands of millonaires especially over the last 30 years, and personally, I’ve dipped my toe in it, but it doesn’t excite me. So for many people who are interested in real estate as their passion – this works! For me, I’ll probably buy some more real estate, because I know how to, but it won’t be my primary focus. How about you?


Now go back to the three questions above, it is so easy to glance over the questions, but here’s how you do it. Read question number one. “Are you serious about REALLY living your dream?” What is your life like today? Comfortable? Easy? Predictable? For many, the corporate culture creates an environment of “Just below acceptable”. You do a job that isn’t too hard. You make enough to enjoy life. You have a house, a car or two, take a vacation or two a year and that works. After all, everybody else is in the same boat right? So if you ask the question, are you serious? Many people will just say – NO. Because their lives are fine right now. Because of that fact, you can’t move forward – you’re not ready to go on. So while question number one may seem simplistic, it is the hardest question for MOST people to HONESTLY answer yes to.


Three simple questions. Three honest answers. That’s all it takes to get you started.



Learning How to Let Go



As a self styled phenomenologist I like to break things down to their smallest part. In my day job I also have a natural desire and policy to do less and earn more.


I semi retired seven years ago at the age of 52. I owned a very successful business and was working seven days a week and a short day was 10 hours. I had enough, and lost interest in the business. I closed it down and took a year and a half off.


During this time I set out on my journey of spiritual awareness, and I starting reading books and writing articles. I took on a day job to supplement my savings and income.


My career as a salesman allowed me lots of freedoms to do my writing and manage my web site that was growing bigger and more popular every day. The current writing and web site management take up a lot of my time. For the last five and a half years I have considered my writing and web site as my work and my day job as my paying hobby.


In our sales meetings and in one-on-one meetings with the owner, he has said that any salesman who is not on the job to make money first shouldn’t be in a sales job. He and I have had head to head combat with this philosophy. Although he may be correct in his opinion, he is plainly expressing a limited philosophy in my view. He simply does not understand my philosophy about my job and why I am there.


My present philosophy is really very simple, and is just the different path I like it. My response to his constant question about why I am there is multifold.


I need the divergence so I don’t die in front of my computer, and getting off my butt is a good thing. I need inspiration and an alternate environment-I am on the road four hours a day and in four to six homes five days a week. I am by nature very reclusive and shy, and I go out of my way to avoid people. However in my work, I am just the opposite. People don’t believe me when I tell them how introverted I am. The job provides me the chance to interact with people on their level and in the comfort of their homes. It is the connection I need with others.


Because I specialize in the study of manifesting, my job has given me great opportunity to consider how it works virtually. Over the years I have modified my selling approach many times to try and achieve and maintain my position on the job. I have been a trainer and a supervisor. I have been at the bottom and the top, and I have never been one to remain content with the status quo or to remain in the same position.


The job is a buffet of opportunities for me to write about my experiences and the different individuals I work with. I have run the gammed of emotions on the job. I have been given other opportunities to help and I seldom turn them down when asked.


It is the perfect job for me-not for the money-but for all the other opportunities it brings to me. I have discovered a gold mine, and have gained great insight into how to manifest what I desire.


Finally after nearly six years on the job, I have adapted a philosophy and have made a great discovery about my favourite subject.


The owner and I have made a straightforward agreement about the percentage that he will pay me. I have no issues with that. He has guaranteed me four qualified leads a day and sometimes as many as six. We also agreed I could have more if I wanted them. Between the leads that are generated by the telemarketers, I also receive referrals and office leads (customers who have phoned in).


My job definition is quite very simple-just sell. My new approach as to how I maintain my job and give the boss what he wants is even simpler. I do as little as possible.


I believe if I do my job effectively, I will have all that I desire from it and the bonus reward will be a paycheck that will reflect my initiative. My focus now, as it was in the outset, is not about the money. The money will come when the job is done. I learned over the years to stop counting the money or worrying about how much I have sold and how close I am to getting bonuses and duly achieving my targets. I try not to think about cancellations, break-downs and human error. My new thoughts are-just do the job-the money will come.


I have been able to demonstrate this philosophy and it is working. I am doing less and the money is getting better. I am not trying to control the current situation any longer-in fact I try to forget about the situation and give it little thought. I still have to catch myself periodically from counting or watching over my numbers. Things are happening in my job of which I have no jurisdiction over that is making my job easier.


We are now in the off season for our products and services. The telemarketers are having difficulty supplying the salespeople with leads and we are sitting on the side of the road for hours-waiting. I am now making more money and doing less. I am making money by just sitting on the side of the road waiting for leads.


Because there are now fewer leads, the office manager is phoning previous customers and booking my calls from an old database. The closing rate on these leads is about 85% as apposed to a closing rate of about 50% on the cold calls. He is working harder and I am sitting on the side of the road for most of my shift and earning more money. I have no conscious control over these events. However, at a subconscious level I am participating in the manifesting of them.


I was asked this week not to come into the sales meetings in the morning. I have always been apposed to them as I don’t see them as informative or motivating. When I first started we had a meeting every day. I made so much noise over the years; I got them down to twice a week. Now I don’t have to go in at all. Yesterday I was given the choice to come in or not-it has now become my choice-I think once a week is perfect.


I love this job, it is now working for me, and I am not working for it. I started off working 6 hours a day, six days a week. I am now working four hours a day and five days a week. All the opportunities are there for me-they just keep coming.


There is only one thing I have to do, and that is sell. The job, the money and all the others things I cherish about the job will take care of themselves. They will not, only when I try to control them. As far as the money goes, I have a clear desire about what I require to receive at the close of the pay period. Between the beginning of the pay period and the end of it, I will do little to try and control how I get it.


My philosophy is working-the boss gets what he wants in the end, and so do I. It’s the perfect marriage. This article, hundreds more, and my books are all an outcome of this philosophy. It has been the greatest gift from my job. It is worth much more than the money I am earning.


My success is manifested by a desire and my own unique perspective. This philosophy may not work for others. There are some who would completely disagree with what I have written, and yet I am living proof that it has worked.


We are all great manifesters, few of us realize it, and once we try to understand the process our thoughts often get in the way of how it should work. We trip over our own feet. Keep it simple-do your job and take advantage of the opportunities which you are drawing to yourself.


If I was really wise, I would stop writing about these things. Just the very act of writing about it, changes it. Being true to my nature I must look deeper and by doing so, I am going to stick my foot in my mouth. However, this is going to create another opportunity for another article.


By doing less in my job and earning more, I have created the opportunity to do more with my writing and that is what I enjoy the most. I have also become more aware of opportunities and choices.


It is important to understand that by doing less, I don’t mean being irresponsible. I simply mean if you take full responsibility for your job and know the results of your work, it will bring you what you desire-you will work less and earn more.


If you try to maintain control of the steps to your goal-you will eventually lose site of it. If you let go, the probable opportunities will come to you, and then it is simply about making good choices.

Here you are, single again after so many years of marriage, and with children, now, what do you do? Do you wade right into the dating waters? Do you wait a while? If you do, how long should you wait before you start dating? Then, what about the children? So many questions, perhaps the following suggestions can help you decide which road to take.

In the case of a divorce, there are a few variables to take into consideration. Was it an amicable divorce? Are you on speaking terms with your ex? How do you feel about yourself? Are you happy that you are now free, whether you asked for the divorce or if he did? The idea of dating again can be very intimidating, but at the same time, it can be better than the first time so long ago. Now you know what it is that you want or not in another relationship.

But before you decide, give yourself time to recoup, studies suggest that a person wait several months (approximately six months to a year), before starting to date again, but this number is not written in stone, actually, when to start dating depends entirely up to you and how you feel. Even if you feel good about yourself and you have no self esteem problem, it is always wise to give yourself time to find your wings again.

Some of the ways to do this is by joining a club or group that has activities that you enjoy, such as a reading club, or join an art class, reconnect with old friends and make new ones. Join a social club at your church or another church that has one. Let your friends know that you are ready to start dating again, try online dating, although that idea might be a little scary to some, recent surveys have shown that approximately 7 million Americans now go online and use their dating sites and services.

If on the other hand, your self-esteem is battered, then, before you even think of dating, you must first work on feeling great again. Treat yourself to a makeover, try a new hairdo, and pamper yourself for a change. Go to a Spa for a massage, a facial, something relaxing; When you have children, most of your energy is immersed in your job and raising your children, which leaves you with very little time for you, so you feel tired and un-attractive.

For both of you, the one with the positive attitude, and you, the one with the low self esteem, make a list, either mental or written (preferably written) of the qualities you would like to find in a new relationship, as well as a list of those thing you definitely do not wish to deal with again. This will help you in not selecting someone identical to the person you divorced which is something many women do, and then ask themselves why they keep failing.

Don’t feel, when you start to date, that the first man you go out with, will be your soul mate, treat the dating as you would someone you are interviewing for a job, you do not hire the first applicant that comes your way. Be honest and tell the person about your children, but keep them out of the equation, at least until you know the person better. Ask him if he likes or has children of his own, as time goes by, if he is going to be in your life, he will then, also become a part of theirs, and when that time comes, introduce him to your children slowly and as a friend.

Post divorce advice basically helps you in re-establishing your life. The divorce proceedings are over and the court has finally granted divorce. Most of you are bound to be emotionally upset, and financially unsecured. But dear friend you have to muster courage and start it all afresh. The emotional, social, and financial dependency is over, and you have to start it all from scratch.

Wait atleast two years before you take a plunge into another serious long-term relationship. Give yourself a good 2 years gap to figure out your own issues and get your life back. If you dont give yourself any break and again fall into the trap of serious relationship , you are bound to pick the same type of mate and have an instant replay of a marriage that ends in divorce. So instead of jeopardizing your relationship once again and following the same rough path, give yourself and your life a nice good break.

Various studies and statistics on second marriages ending in divorces is 60%. That’s because we didn’t take the time to learn enough about ourselves the first time we got divorced.

Moreover re-entering the singles’ scene can be a bumpy road, especially if you haven’t been “on the market” for a long time. As a result, re-emerging daters often find themselves face-to-face with a host of possible pitfalls, ones that can thwart even the most resilient of dating efforts.

Gradually when you feel you are ready to date , enjoy your first relationship but don’t expect it to lead to marriage. Just resist the temptation to jump in irrevocably. You’re probably less ready than you think. View dating as part of the healing process and as a way to make more friends rather than find Prince Charming. You can meet people in classes, in clubs, on the Internet. Your dating skills may be rusting, but concentrate on paying attention to the other person and beware of too much venting about your former mate or marriage. Talk about neutral things like work or sports.

The key to successful post divorce dating is to have fun with it. You have to let go of the past and give yourself permission to be happy with life as it is and yourself. You are an attractive, worthy individual who deserves the attention and fun. Get out and enjoy yourself!

After a divorce – especially if it was a particularly painful one, it can seem as if you will be lonely forever. The good thing is that you don’t have to be. Many divorced individuals find their dream mate and spend the rest of their lives with that person. It can seem as if it’s impossible but it’s not. Here are some important dating tips for finding your dream mate after a recent divorce.


Realize Your Own Worth –


The first and possibly the most important thing you can do when starting to date after a divorce is realizing your own worth. Think about how important and valuable you are. What are the character traits you love most about yourself? Which physical features do you love about yourself? Maybe you think your eyes are really beautiful or that you are a very loyal person. We all have something special about who we are – what is it about you? Make a list of these things and read them when you’re feeling down. A divorce can really take a lot away from your confidence and self-esteem – which is needed when you are going to start dating again! The way you feel about yourself is the most important opinion you should consider.


Start Hanging Out with Your Single Friends Again –


Many of us become distant from our single friends while we’re in a marriage, and understandably so. However, now is the time to get back together with them! Don’t worry if you haven’t spoken to them in a while – they will most likely understand and welcome you back with open arms. Go where they go and visit the places they visit. Remember that where singles hang out – other singles hang out! This is a great way to meet people and have some much needed fun all at the same time.


Try Online Dating –


With safety features of online dating sites being ramped up over the last few years, many people are starting to date online. This allows you the chance to scan the world for your dream mate rather than your hometown or the county you live in. You can really meet some spectacular people and you have the chance to learn about them before you ever talk to them. With many online dating sites, you are matched for compatibility before you ever talk to anyone as well. Sitting behind a computer screen may also help ease you back into the dating world – it’s less nerve wracking than a blind date!


Using these methods, you should find your dream mate in no time – even if you have been divorced recently. No one wants to be lonely, so get out there and start having some fun!

Starting to date after a divorce can be difficult and awkward. This article offers dating after divorce advice to help you get over Mr. Wrong and start looking for Mr. Right.


Dating after Divorce Advice Tip #1: Be Sure You Are Ready to Date


Friends and family may encourage you to get right back in the saddle, but this may not be the right choice for you. Take the time you need to deal with the loss of your marriage. Even if you were the one who wanted the divorce, it is not unusual to experience some sadness and grief when the divorce actually goes through.


Dating after Divorce Advice Tip #2: Try Some New Activities


Meeting a dating partner can be difficult. Chances are the right person for you won’t turn up in the grocery store or at your hair stylist’s, and last call bar pickups rarely blossom into anything good. Therefore, you need to get involved in activities that will allow you to meet and interact with new people. Attend a church social for singles, for instance, or take a few classes at the community college.


Dating after Divorce Advice Tip #3: Take Your Time


Don’t think of each date as a desperate attempt to enter a new relationship. Think of it as spending time with someone whose company you enjoy. If a romantic relationship emerges, nurture it carefully.


Dating after Divorce Advice Tip #4: Kids


Your children do not need to meet every man that you date. You should only introduce a date to your children if the relationship has become serious. Beware of the date who wants to meet your family too quickly. He may need a reminder to slow down if he’s rushing things. Or worse, he may have an inappropriate interest in your kids. Since some pedophiles do scope out single mothers, it’s important to keep your radar up.


Dating after Divorce Advice Tip #5: Sex


If you’re used to having sex only with your (ex) husband, you may feel a little self-conscious and shy about your sexuality. Keep the lines of communication wide open. Try to tell your lover what feels good to you, and encourage him to say what feels good to him. If you’re nervous about saying the words, you can guide his hand to the place where you want it, or let him know with cries and moans that he’s doing a good thing. If you don’t want children, remember to use some form of birth control, and always use condoms to prevent sexually transmitted diseases.

Dating after divorce can be intimidating. For some people, it may be a few decades since you’ve been out there in the dating scene. As a divorce coach and author, a big concern my clients have is what to do to ensure they have more success in their future relationships.

Here are some important tips to get you successfully back into the dating world and on the road to successful, loving relationships.

1. Date Yourself First

The best predictor of the relationships you’ll have with romantic partners is the kind of relationship you have with yourself. Date yourself first and take some time to get your feet back on the ground. Give yourself the kind of love and appreciation you’d like to have in a future partner. Light a candle for dinner, buy yourself some flowers, and tell yourself how gorgeous you look in the morning.

2. Beware the Rebound Relationship

Take your first relationship out of the gate with a grain of salt. Think of the first relationship after divorce like training wheels on a bicycle. It helps you get back in the game, but may not be something you want to keep in the long run. Beware if you’re the first relationship for your new partner as well.

3. Get Clear on What You’re Looking For

From your divorce experience, you probably have a clear picture of the characteristics, behaviors and attitudes that DON’T work for you. Write them each down and then ask what you do want. For example, instead of self-centered or unfaithful, you may want to list caring and loyal as qualities you’d like your date to have. Put your focus on the positive qualities and use them as a yardstick to decide who to date or not.

4. Keep Your Ex-partner Out Your Future Relationships

Do you find yourself endlessly talking about your ex, or comparing your new partner to your old? Stop and get honest about whether you’re really ready to date again. Sharing about past relationships as information is fine. Endlessly psychoanalyzing and complaining is not, plus it’s a big turn-off.

If you’re divorced, why are you allowing this person to consume so much of your time and attention? Find someone like a trusted friend, divorce coach or therapist to help you work out your unresolved feelings.

5. Do Something Each Week That Scares You

Divorce is an opportunity to not only rebuild, but reinvent your life. And that can feel scary! It’s important to expand your comfort zone. Do something each week (or even each day) that scares you or stretches you. Check out a new class you’ve been interested in or go to a singles mixer. If you feel your fear coming up, welcome it as a sign that you are stretching your comfort zone and are on the right track.