Archive for October 31st, 2009

5 Tips for Men Getting Over Divorce

Posted under: Divorce Tips by Divorce Lawyer

If you’ve just gotten a divorce, it can be tough getting back into the single life. Here are some tips for men getting over divorce. If you’re one of them, these can help you get over the breakup of your marriage and move on with life.

First, it’s normal to simply take some time after a divorce to grieve. Even if you wanted the divorce or initiated it, it’s still a major life change that you’re going to have to take some time to get used to. In addition, it’s likely that residual feelings are going to come up about your ex-wife. Even if marriage was miserable at the end and you really wanted out, you may find with some distance between you that you have residual feelings of affection for her. Again, this is normal and it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t have ended your marriage. It simply means that you’re going through a natural process of mourning and then rejuvenation. So take some time to simply let this be the way it is.

Second, keep tabs on how you feel, but don’t jump right back into dating, especially during this period of readjustment. You need some time to readjust and get over this before you can put yourself back in the dating game.

Third, when you do begin to date again, truly do play the field. Don’t make any major commitments right away to anyone, and simply let yourself be in the company of women you enjoy. And it’s likely that you’re going to find a lot of women in the same boat as you are, with marriages coming to an end so that they’re getting back into dating for the first time in a long time. Although this gives you something in common, it shouldn’t be your only thing in common. This is why you need to play the field and truly wait to find someone who might be right for you.

Fourth, don’t just make your new life after divorce about dating. Take some time to really do the things you always wanted to do but that your ex-wife didn’t like doing. Want to go fishing or out to have a beer with the guys? Guess what? You can do that. Even though divorce can be hard, it can also be very freeing. Suddenly, you could find yourself doing things you enjoy but that you haven’t done in years because your spouse didn’t like doing them or didn’t want you to do them. This is a very good way to reconnect with yourself and find out what you like without someone else influencing you.

Fifth, if you do meet someone special after some time has passed and you think you might be ready to recommit, that’s great, but take it slow. It may very well be that your new girlfriend is also experiencing life after divorce, and you’re both going to have to take some time to figure out what the ground rules are for your relationship.

When you’re ready to recommit to a new relationship, you’ll know. Until then, let yourself have some time to heal from your divorce, and joy your time as a newly single guy, too. If you do things right, you could look back on this time with some fond memories instead of just seeing it is something you had to get through.

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Divorce Advice

Divorce is one of the most painful processes that a couple can go through because it is a process where fault is established and it is also where the custody of the children and assets are fought for, which are both emotionally and psychologically taxing. Given this, there has been a lot that has been written on how people can better prepare or deal with the divorce proceedings, which include advice on how to plan a strategy on how assets can be divided. Although these have helped people deal with the process of divorce better, they only cover the period up to when a final settlement is reached and they seem to overlook the “after,” wherein people who just got divorced also need advice on how to move on with their lives.

Healing process

A divorce can be described as a “break” or a “wounding process” wherein relationships are severed, which could leave a painful wound for those who have decided to part ways. Given this, there is a need for people to be guided on how to begin and undertake a healing process so that they can move on with their lives. As with any “break,” the first step that people should take is to allow themselves to grieve the loss that they have just experienced. This is an important first step, for more details visit to www.tips-getting-healthy.com as this would allow a person to feel and move through the emotional pain of losing someone. In some cases it would be helpful to document such feelings in a journal as a means of venting them.

The next step in the process is to muster enough determination and decide to heal, to forgive the other party and to move on with their lives. This is also an essential step as this can free a person from feeling anger and bitterness for the rest of his life as a result of the divorce. In addition, doing so can also open up other opportunities for growth and healing. Lastly and more importantly, for more details visit to www.make-ezee-money.com which include advice on how to plan a strategy on how assets can be divided?  people who have just gone through a divorce would also do well to surround themselves with a healthy support system who would support them in the healing process. This is very important as having people who care about them can provide the motivation to stay the course of healing from a divorce.

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